April Showers Bring May Flowers? B.S.!!
I remember distinctly taking a bright red sharpie and circling my due date on the calendar.
That date might as well of been tattooed on my body. It became my mantra. My daily waking thought.
And wow, March 29 seemed oh so far away!
However, as baby sizes turned from chickpeas to grapefruits and from grapefruits to watermelons, slowly that date became even larger in my conscious and subconscious thoughts.
So conscious that before I knew it it was impending.and then passing.
And inevitably because I was doing the spring my walking burgeoning road sign of an impending baby belly was welcome to all sorts of dribble and mundane conversation.
Lots of old ladies and knowing moms with toddlers loved to tell me about how hard it was to wait but how joyous this time was of just sitting. Waiting. Sitting in wait.
My absolute favorite?
While checking out at Target wearing the only pair of shoes (ugly Mary Jane Crocs by the way; no offense to Crocs wearers,but I was at my All Time Low when I had to wear this particular pair of shoes every day from week 36 through delivery) that would fit my poor tired swollen and aching feet, The checker made the ritualistic conversation:
"Baby due soon?"
How could you tell...
"You look so tired, it's tough to get through the end, huh?"
Really?
"You know, April showers bring May flowers!"
The. Hell?
I know the intention of this well-meaning woman was the best to remind me that things are worth waiting for and sometimes they require us to be in mental and physical agony until we get to that well anticipated moment of satisfaction.
But that's all bullshit.
Of course the baby is worth the wait of course once my son was put my arms I almost forgot about all of the transformations my body and mind and soul went through to get him here.
But April showers don't always bring May flowers. And waiting for baby sucks.
It's totally OK to walk around wanting to be done and tired and need to see your feet.
The waiting is sometimes interminable.
So grab that pint of ice cream, get another pedicure, or a nap. Call out of work. Cry on the phone to your friend, your doula, your partner.
No one expects you to just grin and wait. It's okay!
And the best thing, whether it helps or not, is I promise you won't be pregnant forever.
Comments