Following In Your Mother’s Footsteps?
When growing up and idealizing my own parents’ roles in my life, I remember distinctly using phrases in in my inner talk like
Once I got pregnant, I felt strongly about following and also leaving to the wayside certain pieces of advice from my parents. Some felt grounded in fact and no-brainers, some seemed silly and some downright head scratchers!
I was plagued, however, by a feeling of overwhelming guilt, and the need to apologize, for straying from some of the ideals that my parents solidly enforced in their own parenting, and paving my own path for my children.
Some of these things were very subtle, and some were met with some judgment and surprise.
The thing that’s most exciting about being a parent, and sometimes pulls down the magic curtain, is that you AREN’T your parent.
You do not have to be a carbon copy of your mother, father, sister, aunt, caretaker, or role model.
That’s the beauty of parenting.
Just because you admire and value your upbringing (or don’t) you don’t need to replicate the same conditions that were present for you. I’d argue that it’s impossible to, within the drastically different eras we all encountered as children vs. the present state.
Just like a good salad bar, take what you need, leave what you don’t want, and don’t feel the need to justify!
That’s what makes you a good parent, and one that we’re proud to support in your choices!
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