How Does Fear Help in Birth Preparation?
There is one factor that many people go through when they are preparing for or experiencing the process of birth: fear! Fear is a really big part sometimes of people’s childbirth experience and preparing for being pregnant and bring a baby home - even parenting! I’m afraid everyday with some of the things I experience with my kids! t
I think something that is important about fears is facing them, learning how to understand them and to use them to your advantage when you’re preparing for giving birth.
Acknowledge your fears
Whenever we give voice and life to fear, it’s less scary because we’ve said it out loud and acknowledged that it is there. This makes it a bit easier to understand where the fear is coming from and help to alleviate it if at all possible.
Give them justification
It’s ok to be afraid! It’s not something you need to worry about facing judgment. If you’re a first time mom, you’ve never done this before. Even if you’re not a first time mom, and you’re attempting to create a different birth experience this time around, or living in a different area and giving birth with a different team, there are a lot of ‘what ifs’ that can really impact how you’re feeling about being in control of the preparation. Control factor is very hard when you’re not completely in control of certain situations, and justifying why you feel this way is important to understanding your worries.
Break them down
When you start to break fear down, you separate what you are worried about into justifiable parts. If i’m worried about something specific like birth being painful, what can I do to prepare for the idea of this unimaginable and unexperienced type of pain or discomfort? How can I set up a plan to make sure I have pain management under control if I can’t prepare for it? When you compartmentalize the steps to creating an action plan for your individual fears, it creates action that makes them seem smaller and more manageable.
Educate
When you don’t know much about something, that is when you are usually more afraid and at that point it’s good to look into seeking out information in the most positive and productive way. Accurate information is important; go to the source! Your care providers and your doula can help guide you in finding the best information to help understand the mystery behind a procedure, symptom or event that may be causing some of your worries.
Understand their role in your birth experience or parenting
Sometimes fear drives us to change the way that we approach something, to how we make decisions and it’s not necessarily terrible to have a bit of fear present to help us along during the process. It’s always good to have someone to talk it out with. If that’s your doula, we’re happy to listen to what you’re going through and offer some suggestions or just lend an ear and supportive presence. Talk to your partner or family and friends; most likely your fears are shared by more than just yourself! Even if it’s not an answer you’re seeking,
Make a Plan
What are you going to do to help yourself through this process of getting through the fear and alleviating it during the time you’re having it. This will help you overcome it and use it to your advantage. If you’re worried about breastfeeding after birth, perhaps taking a class or visiting a support group ahead of time will help you feel in control. Finding a lactation consultant that can meet with you after birth and lining up a visit could provide peace of mind. Plans help to create safety nets when some things are out of your control.
Fear is totally alright! What’s important is that you do whatever you can to make sure you’re having positive outcomes from using the strength of that fear to create a good environment. Don’t be too afraid, because you always have a supportive team behind you to help you move through the process of understanding your fears. Take that unease and turn it into something beautiful!
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