Partner Love Languages: Parenting Edition
Being in a committed relationship is hard. The way we communicate feelings, emotion and showing love and affection for one another can be difficult, especially when we tend to emote the way we want to receive affection.
Often, the love language of one person doesn’t always mesh with another’s and it can cause complications in perceived affection!
This gets even MORE complicated when you’re parenting. The willingness to do random acts of love and find that way to connect can get increasingly harder around the bowel movements, demanding sleep schedules (or lack therof) and general stripping of intimacy that happens when you have a baby.
Connecting is important - and finding ways to perceive affection - that DON’T involve physical touch, a romp in the sack or ridiculous underwear that won’t make you feel sexy or like knocking boots at ALL - can be tricky.
Here are some ways to decode your partner’s parenting love language - and to increase your feelings of affection and strengthen your bond this February
Love Language:
1.Words of Affirmation
This is a very hard one for most! We get very caught up in the tallying contest of who did what in relationships and co parenting. Using words to affirm and thank someone for what they’re doing instead of putting down the fact that it’s FINALLY done, can really increase the feelings of love that person gets from us.
2. Gifts
This one is always appreciated by the fairer sex. I love getting flowers from my husband, and not just on a special occasion, but just because. A kindly written letter on my nightstand goes a long way in my overall feelings of happiness.
3. Acts of Service
This is definitely my husband’s love language. He’s a ‘doer’ and while I enjoy words and gifts, his actions of cleaning the garage, putting the kids to sleep when I’m out working, and more are truly his way to showing how he cares. Recognizing this made strides in our relationship and in the way I perceived his attention.
4. Quality Time
Giving undivided, dedicated attention to your partner can really water your love plant. It’s hard to get when you are caring for little ones, but dividing time to just enjoy a card game, a show, or something you share in common together can greatly improve the daily grind.
5. Physical Touch
This one is probably the one we all equate to showing love, and, in various stages of pregnancy, postpartum recovery and parenting, are the hardest to come by, or, sometimes the LEAST wanted from one partner or other. If you’re struggling with physical intimacy, you’re definitely not alone, and communicating your physical needs or reservations and harmonizing them with your partner can help improve this.
One helpful thing - take the physical need down a notch. Go back to the early days - hold hands, hug, give and practice back rubs. This is a simple way to reaffirm for each of you the physical release of oxytocin without having to suffer through unwanted sexual contact.
Getting to know your partner’s love language in this new stage of your relationship can help improve your bond, give you a boost of care and energy for the days when naps are fleeting, toddlers are demanding, and you might wonder why you decided to get intimate with another person in the first place!
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