Dear Parents; It’s OK If You’re Relieved Your Kids Are Going Back To School
Last year, my eldest went to Kindergarten, and I was a wreck for the better part of the week. Making chalkboard signs, tearfully revisiting albums from when he was a baby, and finding time to walk him to school, leave cute, handwritten notes in his lunchbox, and volunteer for positions at his school.
Slowly - well, not really that slowly, to be honest - the notes were discarded in favor of lunch account money, we were the LAST car in the pick up line because of my baby’s nap schedule, and I was dodging emails about joining chair positions at the PTA.
Why?
Because I was BUSY.
All of the other roles I have - Mother to two other children, busy business owner, doula, homeowner, the list goes on…didn’t give a shit that I had a whole set of new routines, responsibilities, projects to complete, folders to read and sign, and more.
As overwhelming as the school grind must have been for my Kindergartener, adding that whole new role and world into my already barely held together one was a shock to my system.
I embraced summer’s return with a Kindergartener’s excitement. It was time for a BREAK! Right?
Nope.
After a summer that started similarly, with promises to Pinterest plan an ideal break and nurture both summer reading lists - spoiler alert: we didn’t finish - and enrichment activities (again - popsicles), I’ve run out of ideas, and was feeling a little guilty with the glee I felt over attending the ‘peek your seat’ event at our school today.
The truth is, I am counting down the days before he goes back.
Because, while having him start school was a shock to my system, so was having him home.
The school routine is a funny thing. Having my son out of our daily routine for so long created a whole new groove, to the point that I felt like he really fought to get back into the family when he was home. My busy work world, groceries, playdates and caring for his siblings kept on turning when he was at school, but for him it must have seemed like that world only revolved around dropping him off and picking him up every day.
The truth is, I’m tired.
I have two other kids at home, and sending my second to preschool this year is going to be amazing. Not because he’s going to learn and make friends and crap.
Because he won’t be HERE. In my HOUSE.
And for a long time, the thought of wanting to get ‘rid’ of my kids, to send them back to school and breathe a little deeper and regain control of my to do list made me feel like a terrible parent.
Aren’t these little angels, these babies that I breathed life into from my very soul, the ones I fought hard to create and fought even harder to birth, help thrive and walk through life, the highlight of my day?
They are. But I don’t have to physically touch them, called upon, wait on them, pick up after them and find ways to entertain them 24/7, 365 days a year to enjoy what they bring to my life.
Parents have a lot on their plates, and it’s so easy to get touched out and exhausted by the weight of parenting. So if it’s you in the carpool lane shoving your kids out the sliding van doors while scarfing down a bowl of cereal like the self care champion you are, keep on, mama.
They need it, you need it.
And maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to think this whole year round school thing might be worth it’s snot.
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